Things I have learned...

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Seems that in the past few weeks, I have been overwhelmed with feelings, thoughts, situations- often more than I thought I could bear. I was wrong. I can handle almost anything. I just need to remember these things I have learned. It is not my responsibility to make others happy. Each person is responsible for their own happiness. I am responsible for MY happiness. If I'm not happy- I am the only person to blame. Sacrificing oneself is not a way to demonstrate love. Anyone worthy of my love will realize that. It is impossible to give something you do not have. You must have love for yourself before you can give it to others. People will always lay guilt at my feet- it is my choice to pick it up. That was the most intense revelation I've had through this. I don't HAVE to feel guilty? Incredible! I choose not to anymore. Stop beating myself up for choices that could have been made differently. Life is a learning experience. I must simply suck it up and move on. Once I have learned that most consequences are self induced, I will discontinue my self-torturing ways. I am strong. Looking back on my past, the reason I have felt so weak is simple. I had carried too much for too long. Just like all general life principles, exerting too much energy will make even Mr Universe weak. When I look back on all that I have been through- all the experiences I've had, the hurts, the fights- I realize I had to be strong to make it through. Wow! Not everyone deserves the same priority in my life. As a mother, I have ranked the people in my lives today. God, my children, then myself. Everyone else comes after that. Family, friends, etc will fall in according to their spot in my heart, the amount of trust I have in them, and what they offer to my life. I have made a decision this week. I will only put my kids before myself. This isn't an act of selfishness- I truly believe it to be a way to better love others. Loving myself first. Thank you to those of you who see your own words above. You know what you shared made a difference in my perspective and in my life. You are truly amazing and I love you.